The Good Life: "The Good Life" - Week 4

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The Good Life: "The Good Life" - Week 4: Week 4 - Matthew 6:10b "...your will be done on earth as it is in heaven." As I'm studying this passage this week, I'm shocked by the fa...

our struggle

These last few years have been a struggle, one that Kevin and I never imagined we would go through. While we don't know why God has placed this path of infertility before us, we know that he has a reason for everything. We are trying to be faithful and trying to remember this. Some days are easier then others, especially for me. I have so many friends expecting children, or who have already had them. I rejoice in their happiness and am truly thankful that God has blessed them with such an amazing blessing, but somewhere deep within a part of my heart aches every time I see another birth announcement, another announcement of pregnancy, or even the pictures of my precious friends and their beautiful bundles of joy in their arms. This combination of happiness and longing fill me, I look to God and ask one more time, when will it be our turn.... what is your plan? We stand here, faithfully on this path of infertility knowing that God has a plan, and as hard as it is to understand, I guess my only solace is that I know one day God will reveal his might plan, and IT WILL BE the perfect plan...HIS perfect plan. So as we continue along this path laid before us, We will continue to try to be faithful to the one that has placed it there, and we are glad that all our family and friends can join us as we live out and search for all that God has intended for us.

New

Man sometimes it feels like we don't do anything, and yet we are entirely too busy for not doing anything ;-). There have been lots of stuff going on between family issues up here and our new church activities, not to mention the new business we started life has just seemed to get CRAZY! I am super excited about our new business... abzuushops.com I think I will be good at it, and just look forward to more opportunities to help teach people a great way to save some money on their purchases :-). CRAZY CRAZY things are right now, but hopefully I can remember to update more, its just that I don't feel like I have much to share, life is pretty boring, but I kinda like that (at least sometimes)

recent wonderings

Kevin and I have been talking a lot lately about where our life is right now and where we want to be. After a recent trip back to Texas we realized just how much we miss it. We miss having good friends to spend the weekends with. Playing cards and enjoying good uplifting conversation. We miss the Texas environment and the friendly people. So why not move back? Well, we are considering it. The problem is we moved back to Colorado to be close to my family. I like that I am close to my family, though at times it gets overally dramatic and I don't know why I am living here close to them. Anyway, we miss Texas a lot and we always said we would move back one day. I knew coming back to Colorado would not be a perminant move... but could it only be a move for a couple of years? Could we really move back to Texas in another year or so. Unfortunatly I do not have the answer to this question right now. If it wasn't for my family, we would move back without a doubt. But there is more to consider here. If we move back where would we move...back to Lubbock? I don't know... only time will tell. On another note, I am looking into another Masters program. Not in Education and DEFENITLY not from ACU. I am actually considering a Masters in Family Life Education or a Masters in Counseling from LCU. I want to work with children and families but I do not want to do this through the education field. I don't know right now that I am going to start either of these programs or if I even want to. I am just looking at them. All I know is that as much as I love my job, I will not keep this job for more then another year as it barely pays the bills. I also have to consider what I will do if I return to Texas. How will I contribute to our finances and how will we eventually be able to reach our goal of being able to adopt a child. There are so many things we have to figure out. I can tell that there are many changes to come.

Vacation

We are so excited in less then a week we get to go back to Texas for a whole week. While a lot of our friends have moved out of Lubbock we are excited to be able to spend time with those that are still there. I never thought we would say this but we BOTH miss West Texas so much. Then again, its mainly the people. Therefore it would be nice if we could just move all our friends up here. Common the weather is wonderful most of the time. :-) And when you look to the west its not a red cloud of dust :-D. But in all seriousness we are supper excited. I will probably be posting on the reverse said of the trip how much we hated to leave.

mundane

Spinning circles in a mundane existence where the repetitiveness of life has got us trapped in a never-ending black whole.  These are the words that seem to express us right now.  Each day the same as the day before.  We love each other and are committed to each other more and more everyday.  It is difficult dealing with health issues that reek havoc on our emotions and physical abilities as well.  The strain takes its toll.  As we approach our 4-year anniversary we find ourselves in uncharted territory.  Do not hear me incorrectly…. Our marriage is not on rocky ground, but that does not mean there are not struggles.  I wish it were as easy to just follow through with the thought “when life gives you lemons you make lemonade”.  Over the previous year life has thrown some pretty nasty curves our way.  Being told that we are very likely never going to be able to conceive a child of our own was difficult enough without all the nasty side effects of the diagnosis that makes it such.  While we do not seem to be in agreement about a lot of things recently the one thing that we are now and will always be in agreement about is that we love each other and that we are committed to each other through the good and the bad, in sickness and when we are just sick of each other.  We are thankful that though there are struggles we still have one another, to have and to hold.   We have our Father who brought us together and we will overcome.

an unexpected turn of events

We have been trying to get pregnant for more than two years. We finally got a doctors appointment and the doctor refered us to a specialest. After several tests we have been told that results were consistant with Premature Ovarian Failure. This means while its not totally impossible for us to get pregnant it is very unlikely. The doctor informed us that there was nothing medically they can do to increase my chances of conceiving or to reverse the ovarian failure. We are now considering and discussing our options and will write about where we are going next. Much love to all those who read this blog.